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Hat deprivation illness, as the name implies, is an illness brought about through lack of cool hats. It is a mental deficiency, whereby the one afflicted loses the ability to reason sanely and can only work to obtain such a hat, no matter the potential cost.

Jane has been repeatedly affected by this illness since losing her cool hat on page #062. A cure has not yet been determined, although concussion has proved to be effective in the short term.